My doctor said something weird the other day. He told me to eat more real food. I thought it was strange because, you know, it’s not like I’m five years old and eating imaginary cookies. I told him I do eat real food and I can prove it. I grabbed the tire around my waist and said, “You don’t get this from make believe tea parties!”

But he might be on to something.

Have you ever thought about the things you and I crave? If you’re like me, it’s more along the lines of cookies, not carrots. The stuff that calls your name usually falls into the faux food category, things that don’t exist in nature, such as chicken fingers and curly fries. I’m thinking if 90 of what I eat comes from a factory and not from a field or farm, it’s probably not a good thing.

Enter Diana Walker, cravings coach. She says that whether we’re stressed or relaxed while we’re eating may make the difference when it comes to food cravings and even weight loss. In fact, one of the major reasons you experience cravings, according to Walker, is because your body isn’t properly using the nutrients that it is receiving.

She suggests having real “sit-down” meals. Slow down and don’t rush your eating. Paying attention to your emotions is also crucial; we need to relax before a meal with meditation, for instance, or other ways.

Even for an experienced binge master like myself, Diana’s words are revealing. Instead of trying to solve the problem that’s making me eat—which is a lot to pack into the two minutes it takes to grab a plate, checkered bib, and utensils and plant myself at the table for a serious chow-down—maybe all I need to do is relax.

What else can stop a craving dead in its tracks? Different things work for different people. Here are just a few ideas:

• Brush your teeth. It’ll keep you from putting food in there.
• Drink a big glass of water. You’ll stay hydrated, and spend less time in front of the open fridge door hunting for something to satisfy that unidentifiable urge.
• Eat carbs that are high in fiber. Avoid most non-white, processed carbs and reach instead for brown rice, whole-grain breads, and fiber-rich fruits and veggies to feel full longer and enjoy a steadier energy level.
• Get out of the house. Go for a walk or talk a drive.
• Take your vitamins. Cravings are a sign that you may be missing nutrients.
• Have healthy snacks prepared and ready to go.
• Find something to do with your hands. Knit, garden, scrapbook, or write. It’s hard to shovel stuff in your mouth when your hands are busy.

Okay, I suppose you can still binge even when your hands are busy, but your odds are definitely lower. Or you’re eating something other than real food. Those imaginary cookies don’t require much handling, and they don’t drop crumbs on your computer keyboard.

Don’t ever underestimate the power of small changes.

I’m all for creating and pursuing grand visions for our lives. But sometimes focusing too much on the big picture can feel overwhelming. Sometimes, we’re better served by starting small and letting each small success give us the confidence to go a little further, then further still. Imagine each small puff of success as a single burst of steam. Get enough puffs of energy, and before you know it, you’ve got the momentum of a 150-ton locomotive propelling you down the track.

When I wanted to lose weight some time ago I set a goal to lose fifty pounds in three days. I launched a megamongo workout campaign and three days later I was not only too sore to move, I was still fat! I was so depressed that it took an entire tub of Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk just to lift my spirits enough to reach for the Twinkies.

Too ambitious. Ya think?

Plan B. I set a kinder, gentler courser for myself—for five days a week I’d put on my sweat pants, drive to the gym and stand on the treadmill. That was it. Just stand.

This was a small change, to be sure. Some might even argue it was too small. And yet it was a place to start.

A lot of days I’d be standing on the treadmill and think, Well, heck, as long as you’re here, you might as well turn the thing on. So I would walk for ten, fifteen, even twenty minutes. Once I got really crazy and broke a sweat.

I soon realized that something was being trained and changed: my mind-set. I stopped asking myself if I would go, but when. Within a short time, going to the gym became a nonnegotiable part of my day.

My small change transformed my mind and my habits, and, once underway, changing my body seemed like the next natural step. I started drinking more water, keeping a food journal, and going to bed earlier (they say that helps with weight loss). Over the following ten months, I lost sixty pounds. And it all began with a very, very, very small change.

So if small changes pick up speed and turn into something bigger, what are we waiting for?

We’re not talking extreme makeover here. We’re talking about starting with a single small change. Pick one. Any change. Then watch the momentum roll.

I think I’ve finally come up with a surefire way to actually follow through with the New Year’s resolutions I make this year.

Best yet, I’m going to share my secret with you. In fact, by following my instructions, you, too, can wow your friends in April by announcing that you have honored your New Year’s resolutions for four whole months with a flawless fervency that even Gandhi would have admired.

My secret is simply this: When you make your New Year’s wish list this year, select the kinds of resolutions that you could execute successfully even if you were in a coma.

For example, this year I plan to remove from my list the goal of losing twenty pounds. I’m going to replace it with a goal that states, “no conventions attended by Elvis impersonators will be allowed to convene in my home during any month that ends in the letter y.”

And you know the resolution that says I’ll get out of debt by eating out less often, reusing tinfoil, and making homemade Christmas presents out of recycled dryer lint? Well, forget it. Instead, I’m resolving to never, ever allow my children to engage in science fair projects that involve the words “plastic surgery,” no matter how much they beg or how many chins I have.

In fact, for even less stress and an even great chance at success, consider resolutions such as these:

“I promise to air out the sheets on my bed by leaving it unmade whenever I am running late for work.”

“I resolve to end the new year older than I am today.”

 Sometimes less is more.

If I were to put a passage from the Bible on my list of New Year’s resolutions I’d choose Micah, chapter 6, verse 8: “What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (NASB)

Do justice, love kindness, walk humbly with my Lord. Now there’s a resolution worth its salt.

Okay, so it doesn’t exactly fit my “things you can accomplish while comatose.” But you have to agree it’s not too complex. Best yet, it comes with a perk or two. For starters, when I’m having a hard time following through, the Holy Spirit is waiting to help me and turn these powerful words into reality in my life. All I have to do is ask.

And when I stumble completely—when I am downright unjust, mean, and proud—Jesus is waiting to forgive and give grace.

All I have to do is ask.

What a deal!

Every January I get frustrated because my resolutions are the exact same promises I made to myself the previous year. But if you ask me, the words from Micah deserve to be on my list of resolutions year after year.

Right next to my ban on Elvis conventions in my living room.

They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. I say it starts with a trip to the bathroom. Or maybe a visit to the ATM.

The other thing that can launch a journey of that magnitude is an epiphany.

I had that kind of moment recently. I was sitting at my desk with a computer mouse in one hand and a box of Lucky Charms in the other, when it dawned on me that the first step toward change is a willingness to seek the truth.

Emotional eating and truth don’t usually go hand in hand. In fact, denial often launches our binges as we eat to avoid pain or stress. And once we start eating, denial keeps us going strong. After all, do we really want to know how many calories or carbs we’re consuming? I think not.

But lately I’ve been trying something new. Whenever chaos, change, or crisis threatens to send me on a junk food safari, I’ve tried hunting for the truth instead. I ask myself three things:

1. Am I experiencing any discernable signs of real hunger? Stomach pains? Fatigue? Headache? Anything at all?

2. If not, then what am I feeling right now? Sadness? Loss? Stress? Can I put a name to my emotions?

3. If I close my eyes and imagine myself experiencing different emotions, does the craving suddenly feel a little less urgent?

The next time you feel the urge to merge with all 19 doughnuts left over from your son’s science club meeting, reach for the truth instead. Ask yourself what you’re really feeling.

Then pay attention to your answers. The answers just may surprise you.

If you ask me, the Olympics should recognize moisturizer application as a winter sport and allow women to compete internationally. I just can’t decide whether the competition should be based on speed or results. Should the gold go to the woman who can apply the most lotion in the least amount of time, or the woman who goes home baby-bottom-soft after beginning the week most resembling a Gila monster?

Other cold weather sports? Scraping ice off a frozen windshield is always a riveting event. So is hunting for missing mittens.

Then there’s the popular sport of keeping the house warm, which requires good manual dexterity as well as a high tolerance for emotional pain. This is because it usually involves writing checks to utility companies for obscene sums of money.

And don’t forget snowflake watching. I hadn’t looked at a snowflake—I mean really looked at a snowflake—in years. But when I did, and I studied the intricate design, it was exquisite even as it melted into my glove. I was filled with awe. My daughter took the opportunity of my reflective pause to plant a fistful of wet snow in my face.

Not that I mind a little snow in the face. In fact, harsh elements don’t worry me a bit. I am, after all, a serious athlete, well practiced in my chosen sport.

Just give me a bottle of Jergens, and I’ll bring home the gold every time.

December is here, which means it’s time for familiar holiday traditions—like “stress” and “guilt.”

However, if the holiday season really was stress-and-guilt-free, my guess is that mid-January we’d find ourselves asking, “Did we even celebrate Christmas?”

Of course, it’s possible everything would feel more normal as soon as we got our credit card bill in the mail or discovered those holiday pounds on our bathroom scales.

The weird thing is that the twins, “stress and guilt,” tend to arrive hand in hand, even though they come from different sources. We feel stressed because we’re doing too much, and guilty because we think we’re not doing enough. You’d think they would somehow cancel each other out, like drinking Diet Coke with pepperoni pizza, or adding fat-free ice cream to pecan pie.

Another favorite tradition is holiday baking. One of my favorites is baking Christmas cookies from an old family recipe. My other tradition is to lose the recipe. To date, my mother has given me the recipe at least nine times!

In theory, I think traditions are a great idea. There’s nothing I’d love better than to lovingly craft a Martha Stewart Christmas for my family, complete with beloved traditions that seem to glow with a rich patina bestowed by the passage of time. In reality, things are a bit more complicated.

Traditions require a lot of planning (“Let me check my calendar”), and props (“Has anybody seen the box with Christmas decorations?”), and cooperation from family members, (“What do you mean you have a date with Jason on the night of our Annual Christmas Caroling Extravaganza!?!”).

Despite all of the holiday mayhem and good intentions, I try to remind myself that holiday traditions are here to serve me and my loved ones, not the other way around. I never want to compromise peace of mind or harmony in relationships for any given tradition.

Relationships, after all are more important than ritual.

This is great news. Getting my priorities straight certainly relieves a lot of the pressure I tend to put on myself during the holidays. In fact, in honor of my new commitment of “relationships over ritual,” I think I’ll call someone I care about for no other reason than to say hello.

I think I’ll call my mother. I’m going to a Christmas potluck this weekend, and I’ve been asked to bring the cookies.